Sugar and Spice and Crank and Ice
by RubysArms
Summary: Everyone knows Karen has a drug problem, but what happens when someone falls in love with her and with her habit as well?
1. Infatuation

-1KAREN:

It started off subtle. A smile in the hallway, a light for her cigarette. A touch of the hand as we passed. It soon would explode into something I couldn't even imagine. Something none of us ever could have expected. A full-blown romance. An unwavering love that would carry me through some of the toughest times of my life. No one knew about it, of course. No one could know…

I had just had a very long night out. I was hung over and strung out. I came to work and sat in my desk, shaking slightly and in a horrible mood. I didn't want to be there. I should have stayed home. I'm always there on days I shouldn't be and not there on days when I'm more than okay to be. It was a spring day. One of those spring days when you can smell in the air that summer is just around the corner. A perfect day. It wasn't perfect for me, though. Not at all perfect.

Grace came in and said "hello," to me and I turned for the bathroom and threw up. I made it just in time. She followed me in to make sure I was okay. I motioned her off with my hand. I slumped down on the ground and hated myself.

Fifteen minutes later I came out. She looked up from her desk with sympathetic eyes and told me it was okay to go home, if I thought I should. I told her I felt better now, but I rested my head on my desk. I heard her stop working. I could feel her coming closer to me. She knelt down next to my desk and I looked up. "Karen, I can tell your coming off of something. I might not do drugs, but I understand how they work." I must've heard this speech a million times. Its definitely not going to change anything this time. I'm going to go out and do the same damn thing tonight. "They suck your soul out of you. I haven't seen you smile in weeks. Not a real smile anyways. It used to be recreational, but this isn't recreational anymore. You're not doing it for fun, you're doing it because you have to. Because you're addicted."

That was enough of that. Who was she? I mean, I know she was just trying to help, but it wasn't a problem yet. Sure, I was addicted, but it didn't really interfere with anything. So what, I barfed at work? If I hadn't been on the drugs I might not have come in at all. She should just get back to fluffing pillows.

I didn't say anything back to her and she got the hint that today wasn't the day for her D.A.R.E speech so she went back to working.

A few minutes later Will walked in. "Hey Grace, how are you?" She kissed him delightfully on the side of his mouth. They talked but I could hardly hear a word they were saying. I was getting way too low. When Grace was distracted I went into the bathroom and took out a little piece of tin foil I had neatly folded in my purse. I tried to be quiet. I lit it underneath and inhaled the smoke the powder gave off. I instantly felt better. I didn't even care if they smelled the smoke. I needed it. It was too late I already remembered I had it in my purse and I wanted it way too much to stop.

I must've been in there some time because Will was gone when I came out. I felt confident, alert, and indestructible. "Hey Grace, so what was Will in here for? Is he okay? Are you guys going out to lunch today or are you guys doing something else that oh am I talking too much I'll just sit down, do you want me to file anything?" I didn't realize I had said that a mile a minute. She just put her head down and said, "It seems as though you're feeling much better."

GRACE:

She gave me more than I ever asked for. More than I ever really thought I needed. But I wanted it, deep down I'd always wanted it. I was just too afraid to ask. You see I didn't love her, she didn't love me. That's not the love that was mentioned earlier. It was a completely different kind of love. The kind people warn you about. The kind that kills.

Karen had come in to work hung over, as usual. I tried to talk to her just a little about how horrible things were getting. About how she was hardly her anymore. But she didn't buy it. I don't even think I bought it. I just knew it was bad for her and I hated seeing her miserable. I always cared about Karen more than she thought I did. When Will showed up I noticed her leave to the bathroom. I always notice even if she thinks that I don't. I always notice. When she came back talking up a storm it just confirmed my fear. That and the fact I swore I saw a little smoke. Why did she do it? I mean, I could tell she was flying high and maybe that was the only reason, but why did she turn to drugs in the first place? What was so miserable about her life that she needed something else to make herself feel better.

She always told me, (jokingly of course,) "don't knock it until you've tried it." She of course never intended for me to try it. She, more than any of those who begged her to stop, knew how horrible it was. It was like a vine that wraps around your soul, constricting any happy thought or smile.

What inspired me to do what I did next, I'll never know. It was just an impulse. She was so high she left her purse. She had two pieces of tinfoil. One that she had just used and then one she had planned to use for later. I took it out. This couldn't be too complicated. You just hold the lighter under the thing and inhale the smoke, right? Yeah, that must be it.

Five minutes later I felt ten times better than I think I've ever felt. I'd been drunk before, I'd even smoked pot. This was nothing like any of that. This was heaven.

She must've realized what she'd left and with all her energy she had come back. Her glossy eyes now resembled mine. I walked up to her with new found confidence. "Are you cranked out?" she asked. I just nodded. This was unreal. Me? On drugs? I was actually kind of proud of myself. I was a bad ass.

She seemed like it bothered her a bit but she was too high to do anything about it right now. Then I did something I never saw coming. I walked to her closely and I kissed her. There had always been something manifesting between us. The drugs made it explode. I touched her stomach. I touched the her bare back. Skin had never felt so soft. She didn't even begin to stop me, in fact, she was touching me back.


	2. Water Under The Bridge

-1GRACE:

It didn't seem real, though. It was sex but it was nothing like I'd ever experienced. It wasn't because it was in fact with a woman, it just was surreal. It wasn't bad. Not at all. In fact it was one of the best I'd ever had. It might have been the drugs enhancing everything though. I don't know. I'd never had sex on drugs before. I'd never really done drugs before. Now I know what all the talk is about. I remember her face. Like an angel.

Her skin smooth as it grazed mine. I wanted her more than anything. She didn't even hesitate. Se didn't question it. She just kissed back. The room spun. I felt eternal.

I pushed open the door to my apartment hours later. Will was watching tv. It had to be at least eleven at night. He sprang to his feet. "Grace! Where have you been? I've called you at least a dozen times! I was worried." I laughed a little. I couldn't help it. "Well, I'm here now." I said like I was smarting off to a parent.

Suddenly I didn't feel like hearing Will talk to me. I said, "You know what, _dad_ I don't need to be home at a certain time. I'm a grown woman." He stopped dead in his tracks. "Are you drunk?" I didn't feel like telling him the truth right now. I didn't feel like getting scolded. I just nodded and went into my room.

He followed me of course. "Grace, you're drunk? On a Tuesday night?" I just laughed to myself. He came and sat on the edge of my bed as I undressed. "Its Tuesday?" I said to myself. He heard though. "Yes, yes its Tuesday. What's wrong with you?" Nothing was wrong with me. Nothing at all. I was flying. Nothing could possibly be wrong with my right then. But then I ruined it. I blurted out what I'd been telling myself not to blurt out. "I had sex with Karen."

His mouth dropped.

I expected it to. "You did what?!" I sniggered to myself. "It was hot."

KAREN:

Grace doing drugs? Wow I did not see that coming. It was weird, being with her in that way. Not weird in a bad way. Actually, weird in a very very good way. In the back of my head there were all of these alarms going off but I just put them to rest as I brushed my hand against her soft eager face. Her dilated pupils. Her increased heart rate. It was all spinning around me. I wanted to make sure she was okay. I did these drugs all the time and never thought once about the health risks that go along with it, but as soon as Grace does it, I feel like all of those preachers at those NA meetings.

Maybe that's what everyone who cares about me feels like when I do drugs.

I didn't care how I felt though. I was wanted to kiss her again.

I shoved her against the wall. Pulled her shirt over her head. I would have thought I was dreaming if she hadn't bit my lip. A path of clothes followed us to the backroom. I think it was a couch that was supposed to go in the house she was re-doing, but right then we had used it. I hope they wouldn't mind. I slid my hand down her stomach. To her knees. To her shoulder. Everywhere.

I got home and Rosario was waiting for me. I was thinking about Grace. It was so obvious she was high. Everyone thought this was just the way I looked.

I hoped she wouldn't tell Will anything. Why would she? She wouldn't be that stupid, would she?

Yes, she would be.

My phone rang twice and I actually answered it. It was Will's number and I thought it was Grace. She'd be the only reason for me to answer the phone. It wasn't Grace, though. It was Will. He was not happy.

"Karen, what the hell did you give Grace? She's totally trashed!"

I suddenly felt like I was being scolded by my father.

"Honey, I didn't give her anything." I thought about what I was saying for a minute. If I didn't admit to giving her something, he'd think that she did it on her own, which she did. I didn't want her to get into anymore trouble with her conscience (Will) so I just said. "Okay, I just gave her a pill or two. She said she had a headache and I gave her the wrong thing. I'm sorry. She'll be okay."

"Okay, cause she is saying that you two got together. Now I know better than to believe that, but she must be way out of it to think that."

I just kept quiet. "Well, Karen, please never give her pills again."

He hung up.

GRACE:

Will wasn't happy. "Grace, you did not have sex with Karen. You're just tripping on her happy pills."

"Pills?" I questioned commendably. "I smoked Meth." I laughed again. I couldn't help it. I felt liberated. I felt amazing. I didn't care what Will thought right now. Will went into his room. Jack showed up within minutes to 'baby-sit' me. Will put on his coat and left.

"So G, ya did some drugs?" asked Jack. I shrugged.

"You know Will just cares about you, right? I mean, you're lucky to have someone like him. If I did drugs I bet no one would even question it. And look at Karen. Who tells her to stop? You should be happy ."

I thought about that for a moment but I wasn't happy. Not at all. I felt happy. But I wasn't. I knew I wasn't.

KAREN: He knocked on my door.

I saw him through the hole and thought about not answering. I had to though, and I did.

"Meth?" he said sharply. "You gave her METH?"

I couldn't answer. He didn't even want me to. I honestly didn't have to be there for his little vent. "Are you stupid? Or just high twenty four seven?"

"Will, I"

"Karen, listen to me. You stay away from Grace. We all know how miserable you are but you don't need to drag Grace down with you. Leave her alone."

He turned to leave and I just slumped down in the open doorway and started to cry.

He couldn't resist being the nurturer he was. He stopped and turned back.

"Karen, look, don't cry."

He hated me two seconds ago, and now he is comforting me?

"I didn't give it to her, Will. I left my purse and she just took it. I'm so sorry." I sobbed like a little girl.

Karen Walker didn't cry. Well, she hadn't, anyways.

"I'm sorry," he patted my head and put my face in his chest. "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

In a way, I was happy to have someone to indulge in my habit with. I just hated the way that it had to be Grace.

She learned how to be cool while she was high. She learned not to go home until it wasn't obvious. She learned how to smoke it. She learned all about it.

But in two short months, when I was hooked beyond belief. She stopped.

"It's just not my thing, Karen. I thought it was, but its not. I'm not going to do it anymore."

Gone. My drug buddy. My new found lover. My best friend.

Was it just the drugs though? Was that the only thing that held us together?

I'd soon find out, if I liked it or not…


End file.
